Three Down, None to Go

[thewatchmaker]

Characters: Sylar
Fandom: Heroes
Rating: PG
Word Count: 671
Note: Spoilers for Villains and Shades of Gray...
Prompt for scifi_muses:
Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children…. Eric Draven


Cold as a snake, smooth as ice and too busy with her own agenda to be capable of love, I’d have done anything for her. I probably still would. When she’d given me life on level 5 I knew she loved me. I’d gone into Arthur’s clutches to save my brother. Angela had dangled the golden carrot in front of my nose, and I wanted it more than anything. I wanted to be part of that family, and I’d kill to protect them.

During the lie I’d been willing to do anything. It wasn’t about me anymore. It was about saving them. I knew that Arthur was dangerous. I stayed after saving Peter to keep an eye on him, just like Angela wanted me to. He hopped on the ‘I’m your father’ bandwagon. Arthur tried to fill my mind with poison. He told me that Angela tried to drown me at birth, and he saved me by giving me away. I didn’t believe him, but I stayed.

While she was my mother, I doubted he was my father. If she gave me away, it was to keep me safe from him.

He was lying. It didn’t hurt to find it out.

But it tore me apart to find out she was lying too. I wanted Angela Petrelli to be my mother more than I’ve wanted anything in my life. I loved her. I still might.

I still wanted her to love me when I came to in the morgue.

***
Sweet Virginia, the mother of my childhood. She had the emotional stability of a one legged stool. She spoiled me as much as she could. There wasn’t a lot of money after my father went out for his pack of cigarettes and never came back. I was her shining star, the one who would be special, and would lift her out of her depression. I tried to be everything she wanted me to be too.

But it was never good enough. Following in my absentee father’s footsteps disgusted her. She wanted me to be more, and when I was more she rejected me. She wanted me to be president. She didn’t want me to be a monster.

I didn’t mean to kill her. It was an accident, and I don’t care if anyone believes me. She’s the one who came after me with those scissors. What need did I have of using them to kill? If I’d wanted her dead, I had half a dozen deadly powers at my disposal. I could have turned her to ice or broken every bone in her body with a thought.

***
I don’t remember my real mother. I didn’t know she existed until I went looking for my father. The stories that Luke told me about Samson selling me to Martin hurt. When I remembered him handing me off in that diner for a handful of cash it tore a hole in my soul. When I raced after him into the hot parking lot and watched him murder my mother, I lost my mind. I blacked it out.

I forgot her.

I forgot him.

Virginia became my mother.

I’ve found my father. I’ve left him to die alone and weak. I’ll never be able to find out about my real mother now. She’s gone. There are no memories for me before the diner and death. Maybe if I’d taken Parkman’s ability, I could have forced my father’s memories of her out into the light, but after I met him I knew I didn’t want his spin on things. A man who could sell his only child and murder his wife didn’t have any memories that I wanted to see. I have no doubt he hit her. No doubt that he hit me.

My last memory of her before the red of her blood splattered the back window of the car was her yelling at him about me.

I hope it means she loved me, even if she was too weak to fight for me.