2010-04-24 04:00![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thewatchmaker
thewatchmaker- *crawls back under the covers*
- @Calumfan1 *hugs*
- Prepare to be bitten.
- Trying to decide if it's a good sign or a bad sign that I don't want to kill someone.
- listening to Damn That River by Alice in Chains on @Grooveshark: http://tinysong.com/s4uv #nowplaying
- About fucking time. One thing worked right today. 182 user pics for LJ.
- I half expect to see blood on my hands when I open my eyes, but it was a dream. Too bad I don't dream the future.
- @stillgraylikeme "We're not having lunch with Angela. She got what she wanted." I will not sulk. Will not rage. I'm in control.
- @FutureBoyScout txt I'm sorry. You have the wrong number. Fuck off
- @stillgraylikeme "He betrayed me. I stopped him from killing Angela only to find out that he betrayed me." I head for the bathroom to wash-
- @stillgraylikeme my face. Can't look in the mirror though. I don't want to see the hurt in my eyes. "He loves Nathan."
- @stillgraylikeme "That's what he told me. Told me how he's always loved Nathan, that he was his hero. Didn't I notice the touches and the-
- @stillgraylikeme kisses that went on too long in Nathan's memories in my head. Angela was going to tell me that they'd been together, so -
- @stillgraylikeme Peter decided to try to kill her. I should have let him." Christ I need to throw up.
- Someone needs to throw water on that witch. @HBICPetrelli
- Or sulfuric acid. *grins*
- @stillgraylikeme "I sure as hell didn't need to listen to a lecture on how important Nathan is to him. I knew it was going to happen. I saw-
- @stillgraylikeme it when they were together. I knew. That's not even his Nathan. His let him explode. But this one's fucking Christ."
- @stillgraylikeme "I warned @emtpetrelli that if he had any feelings for Nathan and hurt you like this that I'd smear Nathan from one end-
- @stillgraylikeme of the Grand Canyon to the other. But EMT swears he's not like that. He loves you." I don't want to hurt. I don't want it-
- @stillgraylikeme it to matter. When he pulls me into his arms, I can't hold it in. I'm not crying because I'm mad. I'm crying because I-
- @stillgraylikeme hurt. "I almost lost you because of him. I'm sorry. Never again."
- @stillgraylikeme "The asshole just sent me a text warning me not to hurt his brothers. As if he has any say over what I do to anyone. Like-
- @stillgraylikeme I'm the one that did something wrong. I trusted him to tell me the truth. It was pretty obvious he wasn't going to. If he-
- @stillgraylikeme had nothing to be ashamed of, why try to kill that bitch to keep her quiet, right?" Anger's better. I like how that feels.
- @stillgraylikeme "I honestly don't know." I sink down on the edge of the bed and scrub at my face. "Funny that I don't want to kill them -
- @stillgraylikeme all. I'd rather do something to ruin them. I should leak what I know to the press. That'd destroy the Petrellis once and-
- @stillgraylikeme for all. I know so many skeletons. There's this. There are things I know from Nathan's memories."
- @stillgraylikeme "Scandals, involvement with Linderman, Nathan's whoring. Christ that would take days to list." Leaning my head on Gabe's-
- @stillgraylikeme shoulder I let my mind wander on all the juicy gossip it holds. "We need to get rid of Angela. I hate Scout. He's a whore,-
- @stillgraylikeme but Angela's the real danger. She doesn't care if what she does hurts anyone. We have to kill her."
- @kittenspawn Ask @futureboyscout.
- I know how to do it. It'll look perfectly natural. If I can remove an anuerism, I can cause one. Not as much fun as last time but effective.
- @FutureBoyScout @kittenspawn I didn't do anything! You did this!
- @stillgraylikeme @emtpetrelli I slip past them, heading for the kitchen to get something to eat. I hope I can find some raw meat.
- @kittenspawn @FutureBoyScout Yeah I really want to hear about how Nathan is the love of your fucking life. That makes me bad. Whore.
- @FutureBoyScout @kittenspawn Yeah I did. I should have known better.
- @stillgraylikeme @emtpetrelli "Going to make a meatloaf sandwich. Do you guys want one?" Yes, I can act like nothing's happened. No one can-
- @stillgraylikeme @emtpetrelli compartmentalize like Gabe and I can. You don't like something, you shove it in a dark corner of your brain.
- @FutureBoyScout @kittenspawn Petrellis! Morals of alley cats on Viagra.
- @FutureBoyScout @kittenspawn @emtpetrelli Not you, EMT. You have a conscience.
- @emtpetrelli @stillgraylikeme "You know me. Always hungry." Wanting to kill always makes me hungry. "More for me then." I smile over at them
- @kittenspawn @FutureBoyScout Gee you didn't seem to think it was a mistake. Sounded like it was your boyhood fantasy come true.
- @kittenspawn @FutureBoyScout That was sex. You're in love with someone else. Kind of different, not that you would know the difference.
- @kittenspawn @FutureBoyScout That's my fucking point, you retard. It was just sex. You and Nathan is not just sex.
- Tweet 50K is dedicated to @stillgraylikeme. Without him I'd be a total mess. Love you, Gabriel.
- @FutureBoyScout Not to worry. Fool me twice shame on me. There will never be another Peter in my life.
- @stillgraylikeme "Company's good." My teeth are worrying at my lip while I slice the cold meatloaf for my lunch. I'm considering the --
- @stillgraylikeme options on my revenge. There are so many ways to kill Angela, and I can't wait. "Sure you're not hungry, Gabe?"
- @empath_peter Yeah I'm going to get a chip and everything.
- @FutureBoyScout I already had all that. I still do.
- @FutureBoyScout *flips him off in a salute* Will do.
- @stillgraylikeme I hiss when I end up slicing my finger. Our knives are so sharp, but it heals before I suck it into my mouth. Reflex wins.-
- @stillgraylikeme There's blood on the food, but I don't care. It's mine. I slap the sandwich together and sit down across from them. I'm so-
- @stillgraylikeme numb that I'm shivering when I take the first bite.
- @stillgraylikeme Three bites in and I realize I can't taste a thing. Two more and I throw the rest away. I feel like I'm dying inside. "So -
- @stillgraylikeme I start classes next week. No more being a wastrel for Sylar."
- @BL00D_ANGEL Pretty much, better for seeing you. *smiles*
- @stillgraylikeme "Building's don't bleed." It's barely above a whisper. But I won't go off on a killing spree or anything like that. I am-
- @stillgraylikeme better than that. I also won't do that in front of Peter. He's never quite understood the need for violence we share.
- @FutureBoyScout I do too. Did we step in something?
- @SpeedyFlirt Rock Salt and Garlic?
- @stillgraylikeme "I'm afraid to close my eyes. I had horrible dreams last night when I finally fell asleep. I didn't want to wake you." -
- @stillgraylikeme I curl my free hand into his shirt and lean in close to him. "How about we curl up and watch a movie?"
- @shades_of_sylar I just watched. It was awesome. Next week we'll have to watch together.
- @stillgraylikeme "How about From Hell? I can use a little inspiration." Jack the Ripper always a personal favorite of mine. "The blood and-
- @stillgraylikeme violence might calm me down." Not that I wouldn't like to do to Angela what he did to Mary Kelly.
- @stillgraylikeme It's early, but I don't care. I grab a bottle of JD out of the bar and shut off my regen on the way to the movie room. -
- @stillgraylikeme "I need to get drunk. Sorry. I fucking hurt so much, Gabe."
- @stillgraylikeme "I want to go numb. Want to forget." I crack open the bottle and drink straight from it. It's disgusting, but I don't care.
- @stillgraylikeme "They come back. The memories always come back. It's the regen. Nothing ever goes away." I take another swig, leaning into-
- @stillgraylikeme him. "I hate being stupid, Gabe."
- @stillgraylikeme "It was a game. I wanted to fuck him. I didn't want to care about him. I knew it would go bad the minute Nathan showed up.-
- @stillgraylikeme We see how things work. I saw it when they were together, but I tried to pretend it wasn't there. I was jealous with good-
- @stillgraylikeme reason. Hate being right almost as much as I hate being stupid."
- @stillgraylikeme "It's going to take an act of god to make me leave this place again. I don't want to see anyone or do anything. I want to-
- @stillgraylikeme crawl into our bed and stay there forever." I take a ragged breath and my chest hurts. "Want to know something? I wonder -
- @stillgraylikeme if I ever wanted him, or if that was residual Nathan memories fucking up my common sense. Think I'll blame them."
- @stillgraylikeme I set the bottle far enough away after closing it and curl against Gabe's side. The hug is all I need. As long as we're -
- @stillgraylikeme together I can make it. I won't lose my mind. I won't turn into a monster. I lace our fingers together and kiss the ring I-
- @stillgraylikeme gave him. "I love you more than anything or anyone alive or dead. You are all I will ever need."
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