Sylar - Gabriel Gray

I’m suppose to confess to something in this entry, but I don’t exactly keep my thoughts or my actions a secret. Because that’s what a confession is after all. It’s a secret that you don’t want anyone to know except possibly God, which is silly since God knows everything. So no, I don’t feel the need to bare my soul, to strip it any further than I already have. It’s pretty obvious that I’ve cleaned the flesh away to bone on several occasions.

When I began my journey I was concerned with one thing. I wanted to be the most special. I coveted. I lusted. I envied, and fuck yes, I was jealous of all that wasn’t mine. I was about as emotionally mature as a three year old, stamping my feet, demanding what I wanted, and throwing some stellar temper tantrums along the way.

I’d like to think that I’ve evolved past that stage. Power isn’t all there is. Power isn’t all that matters not anymore. If I look at my life and my motivations, I can see so much more. Hindsight is 20/20. It’s a cliché for a reason, because it’s the truth. What I wanted was acceptance. I thought being more, having more, would make me matter to someone. I was wrong.

You can’t get anyone to love you if you aren’t capable of returning the favor. I’ve learned that now.

I’m not afraid of being alone. I’m afraid of being unloved.

Meme List

Verse #2 - The Wall - this one is RP'd on heroesreduxrpg where empath_peter and I have just started our Wall RP.

Alone:
I don't know what happened to everyone. Suddenly the world was silent. The absence of life sent me spiraling further into madness. I was alone for years, wandering across the country looking for someone, anyone to talk to. My powers were gone, except for regeneration, so I couldn't even die to find some peace. Eventually I went home, and I started collecting watches and clocks the way I did powers. If they were ticking, the world wasn't as quiet.


Peter:
You are such a selfish, spoiled, little pain in the ass, and you always have been. I know! I have fucking Nathan's memories in my head, and I see how you are. I thought Nathan had an ego, but you were the little darling who had all of his attention. Seriously, it's amazing the two of you didn't suck face or worse. It's no wonder Arthur and Angela encouraged Nathan to leave home for school.

Now it's all about Emma. Emma this. Emma that! Emma needs you! You came to get me out of here, my ass. You don't care about me. You only care about being the hero, and once you're done with that. I'll be alone again.


the Gifs were made by fallen_iceangel.
Meme List

You’re special:
I don’t really care what you can do. I just want you. I want to take you someplace dark, secluded where we can be alone. I’ll take you to dinner if you want. I can be so fucking charming when I want to be. Then you’ll be putty in my hand, and your skull will pop open like a pudding snack. It’ll be incredible, and I promise that I’ll be so turned on by it.

Blood:
I love the sight, feel and taste of it. Having a splash of it hit my face when I’m carving someone open always makes me giddy. I want more, and I can’t help but lick it off my lips. The blood doesn’t have to come from murder either. I don’t mind a little rough stuff in bed.

Intelligence:
Beyond the physical there is the intellectual. If you want to get my attention and keep it, with less of a chance of you suffering a grizzly death, try to be smart enough to keep up with me. As I said before I don’t like stupid people, so if you can have a meaningful conversation about something other than how pretty you think I am, I might discover that I like you.

Meme List
Notes: I forgot all about this one.

in no particular order.

Gabe graylikeme:
Anytime a question like this pops up, you’re the first person who comes to mind. I would be nothing without you and your love. You make me want to be a better person. I would do anything for you without question. I would be anyone that you wanted me to be, but I know that I don’t have to change for you to love me. I love you. Forever and always. rp_shadesofgray

Peter empath_peter:
You confound me. You rattle my cage like no other. I don’t know how you still manage to shock me and to make me blush. We went through so much together, survived such odds, and you are still at my side. No matter what happened you stood with me, and we are both so much stronger than anyone would suspect. Love you so much. heroesreduxrpg

Sylar vampire_sylar:
You saved me from the sewers. You took me home, and you took care of me when I was dying. Even though you’d been torn apart and betrayed, you took the chance on me, and I love you for that. I will always be at your side. No one will ever hurt you again, and I’ve never been safer in my life than I am right now. masquerademix

Scully 1breath:
I miss you. The trust you had in me even when you knew what I’d been and done means so much to me. I’m glad that you and your family are together at last, but the selfish part of me wishes you were still in my little part of the world. Tell Will to be careful with those powers of his. Know that if you need me, that I will be there. rp_shadesofgray

Lydia thepainted_lady:
My goddess, I adore you. I know you’ll try to brush this off, because you don’t think you’re worthy of being loved. I think that’s why we understand each other so well, because I feel that way too. But my sweet, you do deserve to be loved, and I want you to be happy. If you need me for anything, you know where to find me. (We need a verse)

Meme List

1 – I’m hungry.

2 – I wonder who will piss me off first today.

3 – I’ve already read this book.

4 – Yep, still hungry. I should do something about that.

5 – I should probably wear something that isn’t black.

6 – They’re watching me. I know it.

7 – Are you special? Because, I’m really hungry.

Meme List

1 – Dracula is one of my favorite books. I’ve read it many times, and when I read it when I was a kid, I had to hide it from my mom.

2 – I’m still very religious. Once a Catholic always a Catholic they say. I know I’ve sinned, but I do hope to find redemption.

3 – The only time I ever ditched school was to see Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom with my best friend Mike.

4 – I learned how to drive delivering flowers for the florist down the block from my shop.

5 – I had to buy the shop from my father’s partner to get it back in the family. Martin sold it to him after he left my mother. My “uncle” taught me how to be a watchmaker.

6 – I thought Chandra was a messenger from God, and he was going to help me find heaven.

7 – I’ve never had a dog, and I’ve always wanted a cat. Mom didn’t like animals in the house, so we didn’t have any pets.

8 – I lost my virginity when I went to a party and got drunk. It was the first time I got drunk too. I don’t remember her name.

9 – Mom used to set me up on blind dates with daughters of her church friends. It never worked out obviously.

10 – Lydia ruined me for all other women, and she taught me everything I knew about sex. I’ve learned more since then of course.

Meme list

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why. - graylikeme
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why. - empath_peter
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why. - vampire_sylar
Day Ten: One confession

RL has killed my writing over the past few weeks, so I'm going to try a little MEME therapy. It's worked before. Other than RP and drabbles20in20 I haven't done any writing this entire month. This is not a good thing. I don't like it. I will have words dammit.