2010-07-15 13:57![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thewatchmaker
thewatchmakerDear Mom,
I am so sorry for what happened. I didn’t mean to hurt you. It was an accident, and I wish people would believe me. But they don’t. They don’t understand that someone like me could care about anyone. They don’t think that I was capable of loving you, but I did. I still do.
Sure you drove me crazy, but that’s what mothers do. You wanted the best for me. You didn’t want me to settle for the life I was living. I was under so much pressure from you, from Chandra, from the games Bennet was playing on me that I snapped. But hurting you was never part of my plan.
I wanted you to be proud of me. I wanted you to be amazed by me. I never wanted you to be afraid of me. When you looked at me that night with such hatred in your eyes, it destroyed me. I know now that I wasn’t who you were looking at. You were looking at my father, my real father, Samson. You tried so hard to keep me from turning out like he did, and when I did you hated me for being weak.
I hate myself too. I wanted to die for hurting you, and for a very long time the part of me that was your son was dead. I tried to never let Gabriel free again, but he’s back now. He misses you, and so do I.
You weren’t the best mother in the world, but you did your best. You loved me, and I’m so sorry I killed you.
I miss you, mom. I'm sorry I couldn't be the angel you wanted me to be.
Gabriel
The Letter Blog
I am so sorry for what happened. I didn’t mean to hurt you. It was an accident, and I wish people would believe me. But they don’t. They don’t understand that someone like me could care about anyone. They don’t think that I was capable of loving you, but I did. I still do.
Sure you drove me crazy, but that’s what mothers do. You wanted the best for me. You didn’t want me to settle for the life I was living. I was under so much pressure from you, from Chandra, from the games Bennet was playing on me that I snapped. But hurting you was never part of my plan.
I wanted you to be proud of me. I wanted you to be amazed by me. I never wanted you to be afraid of me. When you looked at me that night with such hatred in your eyes, it destroyed me. I know now that I wasn’t who you were looking at. You were looking at my father, my real father, Samson. You tried so hard to keep me from turning out like he did, and when I did you hated me for being weak.
I hate myself too. I wanted to die for hurting you, and for a very long time the part of me that was your son was dead. I tried to never let Gabriel free again, but he’s back now. He misses you, and so do I.
You weren’t the best mother in the world, but you did your best. You loved me, and I’m so sorry I killed you.
I miss you, mom. I'm sorry I couldn't be the angel you wanted me to be.
Gabriel
The Letter Blog
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