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My personal life is at a crossroads. After bringing Claire back to her family, I spent the day with Bennet. That’s the other Claire. I can’t call her Claire. They are so very different. Bennet is steady, strong and smart. She’s everything I wish Claire could be. She thinks that neither one of us wants the other – Bennet and I – she wants her Gabriel, and she thinks I want Claire.

I don’t want Claire. I admit I love her, but it’s a love destined to death and failure. I don’t like failure. I can’t fight for her. Not when I promised not to destroy Noah. I’m caught by my promise. Gabriel still loves her like a sick puppy. He’d be happy for a hand held or a glance, but I’m not. I’m an all or nothing kind of guy. I’m sure as hell not going to share her affections with Noah.

Bennet wants Gabriel, the nerd, the gentle, the timid. She went out of her way to point out I couldn’t keep him locked away forever, and that sooner or later I’d have to let him have control.

That’s the all or nothing again. I like being the public face now that the insanity’s been shoved into his own little corner of our psyche. I don’t understand why she wants him. He’s a coward, afraid of his own shadow. She’d eat him alive. I can give her so much more.

It frustrates me that I can’t be what either of them want. And I’m not sure I want to be. Isn’t the old saying a woman gets involved with a man because she hopes he’ll change and a man gets involved with a woman because he hopes she doesn’t?

I like Bennet. I like her a lot. If she stops poking at me to let Gabriel out, I could see us becoming more than friends with benefits. She’s my equal. She could be my partner. I wouldn’t have to spend all my time trying to fix her and her life. She came back to save Gabriel, but couldn’t she just love me instead?

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Sgt. Karrin Murphy is a character from the Dresden Files. She is RP'd on twitter @sgtkarrinmurphy

It’s like a nightmare. Murphy took me to the crime scene where they found the first victims. I was still shaky from recalling what the Other had done to her in the car, but I’d offered to help her to make up for hurting her. It was an abandoned shop. Murphy got rid of the uniforms watching the place, and we slipped under the yellow police tape. It stank of old blood and death. The linoleum was covered in graying puddles of old blood, and there was no question of where the bodies had been.

I tried to pick up impressions of the scene. I could watch from his POV as he slaughtered one of the children, but Murphy needed to see his face. There was no surveillance left in the place, but the tried and true corner mirror was still in place. The mirror came off the wall easily for me. I dusted the cobwebs off the pitted surface and touched it calling on the power I’d taken from Bridget.

He butchered them, stuffing his face with raw meat from their cooling bodies. He licked the blood from his lips while shoving left over chunks into plastic garbage bags. His hair was almost white blond, and his eyes were so blue they glowed. I couldn’t stop watching as he slaughtered each of them. Murphy had to tear my hands away from the mirror. I lost my lunch. It was so brutal. Worse than anything I ever did. He was actually eating them.

Murphy took me back to her place. We drank most of a bottle of Scotch. Well she did. I drank mostly water and fell asleep on the couch. When I woke up I could still taste the blood in my mouth. Had to brush my teeth twice to get it to go away.

I found Murphy in her at-home command center. Apparently she’d taken time off from the Chicago PD to work on the case since the FBI was running all over it. She also needs to keep me under the radar. Angela took care of any warrants on me, but there could still be trigger happy cops out there who don’t know.

She had everything, files on the victims including profiles, and was getting ready to make a murder board with map. She went to get us coffee and handed me the list of victims on her way out. I read over it quickly, memorizing the names, and went to get my laptop. I knew I’d seen some of those names before. They were in the Company records. Not all of them.

He’s killing specials. He’s eating their flesh. He’s one of us. He’s like me.

He’s not in the database. His face doesn’t come up. Who the hell is he, and is this what I’ll become with time?

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Where did the days go?

He’d been in control for so long. It wasn’t like it used to be. I couldn’t watch from the cage in my mind. There were only glimpses when he bothered to remember I existed. The rest of the time I was just caught in a long dreamless sleep.

I felt like so much less than I’d been before. Sylar had stolen more of my life from me, my essence and my soul. Why couldn’t it have been me that Angela gave the pocket watch to? Did she even know she was telling that murdering bastard that she counted him as her son? I doubted it. I’m sure she thought he was me.

And if she didn’t, I didn’t care. I hated him. Want my life back. I’m sure he’s laughing at me from the dark corner of my mind where he sits like a poisonous spider waiting to break free to devour anyone in his way.

This Claire looks at me, her eyes full of pity. My Claire is with Noah on the other side of the country. It would be so simple for me to solve my problem. I could just kill him. Snap his neck with a flick of my fingers. Boil his blood with the heat of the sun while his eyes sizzle and pop like overripe fruit. The thought makes me smile.

Sylar loves this dark girl from the future. I can feel it at the edges of my awareness when I look at her. Should I share his feelings for her when I know my sweet girl is being ruined by the foul love of her father? I need to save Claire.

I need to kill Noah Bennet.

I know I promised her that I wouldn’t hurt him, but what choice do I have? It’s the only way for me to be Prince Charming.