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2009-09-13
Guilt once a constant companion has moved to the wayside or it had for a very long time. My guilt over Brian had faded. The guilt over Virginia’s death blunted by the truth about my origins as each new piece of the puzzle fell into place. I felt no guilt for the others I’d killed save a moment of occasional doubt for what I’d done to Father Ryan in Chicago.
Last night I got caught. I can’t even claim that I’d been framed. I did the deed. I went with Bennet to Japan and took out five Triad members. I didn’t wait for them to attack first. I could read their emotions and intent as they got to their feet when we busted through the door. Bolts of blue lightning careened through them like the final scene of the Raiders of the Lost Ark. Spielberg would have been amazed as they fried in a daisy chain.
The fifth I left for Bennet. He was her target not mine. I was back up no more. When I heard her cry out in pain, I came running. Whether she can take care of herself, she is mine, and she had been hurt. Number Five would die by my hands instead of her gun.
I found her with her arm turned to wood and fingers snapped off. She’d heal, but with her pain centers reactivated in her brain it wouldn’t be pleasant. It wasn’t going to be nice for walk in the park for Number Five either. With my telekinesis I tore his legs out from under him. He landed face down on the floor, and I was on him. I flipped him onto his back, lost in the joy of murder and sliced his head open.
I didn’t want his power. I wanted his blood on my hands. I smashed his brain like hamburger, and we went home.
Now days later we find out someone took pictures. It was a set up. I don’t know if they got lucky and just happened to be at the kill I took part in or if they’d been to all of Bennet’s jobs. The pictures are being shown by Adam Monroe who should have been dead centuries ago
Monroe has a fascination for Gabriel. I traded places with my brother to see what I could find out, but after hours of boring chit-chat I blacked out. Gabriel found me on the Company rooftop, barefoot and staring into space. I don’t know how I got there.
Peter came and tried to read my mind, but it caused me so much pain that it made me sick. I know it has something to do with the 4 months I lost in Mexico. I can’t trust anyone anymore. I read the memories of the scene, and saw Monroe say something to me that made me black out. It also made me do what he wanted. Peter decided that I shouldn’t be alone until we knew what was going on.
Gabriel called me about the pictures. He said Adam was trying to turn him against me, but that he’d never do that.
Sadly I can’t say the same about Peter. Why in God’s name did I fall in love with a hero? I texted Bennet, and when she got home we told him what we’d done. He accused us of lying to him. I could feel his disgust that he was involved with two monsters like us. He said he needed a time out, to leave and figure out what he thought about it all.
I crossed his name off the list of my possible chaperones.
It hurts that he’s gone. I don’t know if he’ll be back. He’s forgiven me so many other things, but now he knows that I’m still a killer. I will always be a killer.
Do I feel guilty about the murders? No.
I’m disgusted with myself for getting caught.
Last night I got caught. I can’t even claim that I’d been framed. I did the deed. I went with Bennet to Japan and took out five Triad members. I didn’t wait for them to attack first. I could read their emotions and intent as they got to their feet when we busted through the door. Bolts of blue lightning careened through them like the final scene of the Raiders of the Lost Ark. Spielberg would have been amazed as they fried in a daisy chain.
The fifth I left for Bennet. He was her target not mine. I was back up no more. When I heard her cry out in pain, I came running. Whether she can take care of herself, she is mine, and she had been hurt. Number Five would die by my hands instead of her gun.
I found her with her arm turned to wood and fingers snapped off. She’d heal, but with her pain centers reactivated in her brain it wouldn’t be pleasant. It wasn’t going to be nice for walk in the park for Number Five either. With my telekinesis I tore his legs out from under him. He landed face down on the floor, and I was on him. I flipped him onto his back, lost in the joy of murder and sliced his head open.
I didn’t want his power. I wanted his blood on my hands. I smashed his brain like hamburger, and we went home.
Now days later we find out someone took pictures. It was a set up. I don’t know if they got lucky and just happened to be at the kill I took part in or if they’d been to all of Bennet’s jobs. The pictures are being shown by Adam Monroe who should have been dead centuries ago
Monroe has a fascination for Gabriel. I traded places with my brother to see what I could find out, but after hours of boring chit-chat I blacked out. Gabriel found me on the Company rooftop, barefoot and staring into space. I don’t know how I got there.
Peter came and tried to read my mind, but it caused me so much pain that it made me sick. I know it has something to do with the 4 months I lost in Mexico. I can’t trust anyone anymore. I read the memories of the scene, and saw Monroe say something to me that made me black out. It also made me do what he wanted. Peter decided that I shouldn’t be alone until we knew what was going on.
Gabriel called me about the pictures. He said Adam was trying to turn him against me, but that he’d never do that.
Sadly I can’t say the same about Peter. Why in God’s name did I fall in love with a hero? I texted Bennet, and when she got home we told him what we’d done. He accused us of lying to him. I could feel his disgust that he was involved with two monsters like us. He said he needed a time out, to leave and figure out what he thought about it all.
I crossed his name off the list of my possible chaperones.
It hurts that he’s gone. I don’t know if he’ll be back. He’s forgiven me so many other things, but now he knows that I’m still a killer. I will always be a killer.
Do I feel guilty about the murders? No.
I’m disgusted with myself for getting caught.
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